Jen Goff Counselling and Psychotherapy

Hey and welcome!

I'm an online Psychotherapist and Counsellor, from Ireland and based in Glasgow.

ABOUT

Anchor 1

ABOUT ME

I'm a Person-Centred Experiential Psychotherapist, and my pronouns are they/she.

My approach is all about offering you a radically non-judgemental relationship where you can safely get to know yourself.

In the same way, as a queer, non-binary Psychotherapist, my practice is informed by social justice and liberatory principles. That means I work in a way that explores how our mind, body and relationships are affected by the world around us. We humans are deeply interconnected; for that reason, our social, cultural, political and economic environmental conditions matter in the therapeutic space too.

Beneath it all, I'm also just an unapologetic research nerd! As such, you can expect my way of working to be informed by evidence.

So, whether you want support moving through life's challenges, to explore a particular experience/issue, or to grow a more caring relationship with yourself/others, I would love the chance to support you in exploring what your shape is - without trying to fit you into my square or someone else's circle.

Check out the services I offer here, and read a little about my own personal story here.

QUALIFICATIONS

Masters with Distinction | MSc Person-Centred Experiential Counselling | University of Aberdeen, Scotland (2023)
Masters | MSc Drug and Alcohol Studies | University of Glasgow, Scotland (2013)
Undergraduate | BSoc Sc Social Science | University College Cork, Ireland (2011)
MBACP | Registered Member of BACP

SPECIALISMS

Trauma informed and healing centred
Non-monogamy/multigamy aware
Kink aware
LGBTQIA+ affirming
Sex positive
Relationships with substance use
Exploring distress (like anxiety, stress and depression)

MEDIA AND RESEARCH

I'm available for media and research work. See my media and publication work here

When we only acknowledge our areas for growth, it’s just being harsh on ourselves. And only being harsh on ourselves isn’t self-awareness 🤷🏼

Each of your selves, or parts, has its own voice, feelings and ways of seeing the world.

They might become active in different relationships or social contexts.

Sometimes our parts work together - your confident part might encourage you to take on challenges.

Sometimes our parts are in conflict - your anxious part might hold you back from doing something your confident part wants to try.

Similarly, your queer part might encourage you to find liberated ways of connecting and expressing yourself. At the same time, the conditioned comp-cishetmono part might feel frightened of expressing your real self.

Understanding our parts helps us understand why we are the way we are and how our parts work together.

It helps us accept and appreciate our complicated, sometimes contradictory but ever changing sense of self 💜🩷🧡

#therapy #therapistthoughts #nonmonogamy #trauma #lgbtqia #queer #psychotherapy #irish #ireland #relationships #scotland #scottish #glasgow #england #uk #wales #northernireland #enm #queertherapist #lgbtq #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #healingcentred #chronicallyill #chronicillness #personcentred #antioppressive
#neurodivergence #neurodivergent

This is another one of those pathologising the human experience terms that grinds my therapist gears!

Yes, nurturing our self-worth, self-trust and ability to meet our own needs is important.

It helps us cultivate relationships with a clearer sense of knowing who we are, what we want/need, and what our boundaries are.

It also helps us know when we need to depend on others, and to notice when our need for care is maybe not being met.

But, depending on others doesn’t make you ‘co-dependent’, it simply means you’re human.

💜🩷🧡

#therapy #therapistthoughts #nonmonogamy #trauma #lgbtqia #queer #psychotherapy #irish #ireland #relationships #scotland #scottish #glasgow #england #uk #wales #northernireland #enm #queertherapist #lgbtq #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #healingcentred #chronicallyill #chronicillness #personcentred #antioppressive
#neurodivergence #neurodivergent

Merry Restmas from me and this gorgeous festive girlie 🐶

A note from me to your nervous system for the holidays 💜🩷🧡

#therapistthoughts #christmas #holidays #queer #trans #nonbinary #neurodivergent #disabled #chronicallyill #lgbtqia

These are my top four most recommended books of 2024 ✨

There are so many amazing books out there in the neuroqueer and anti-oppressive space. Yet time and time again throughout this year, I found myself recommending these books as powerful supplementary reading (or listening on audiobook!) for folx navigating therapy.

Only one of these books is directly about therapy, but each of them offer lenses that can help, even just a little, in understanding the world around us and ourselves in all our uniqueness 💜🩷🧡

So if you fancy a little reading/listening and pondering over the holidays, check these out.

#therapistrecommended #therapistthoughts #bookrecommendations #audiobooks

Relational trauma happens in relationships where we expect safety, care and connection.

It often happens over time through repeated interactions in these important relationships, whether that’s through betrayal, abuse neglect, invisibility, powerlessness or exploitation. This profoundly undermines our sense of safety and self-worth.

The impact of relational trauma can be anything from struggling to trust ourselves and others, to feeling shame, inadequate or unworthy.

It can also leave us repeating relationship patterns that mirror those we experienced trauma with, because even though those patterns were unsafe, they can still feel familiar - with our nervous systems interpreting that familiarity as ‘safe’ (as contradictory as that sounds!).

Healing relational trauma can look like rebuilding trust in others through safe/supportive relationships. However, it also means exploring our own sense of self-trust and how that informs the way we show up in relationships.

The bottom line is: relational trauma is real, and it’s not that there’s something ‘wrong’ with you, it’s that something has happened to you.

💜🩷🧡

#therapy #therapistthoughts #nonmonogamy #trauma #lgbtqia #queer #psychotherapy #irish #ireland #relationships #scotland #scottish #glasgow #england #uk #wales #northernireland #enm #queertherapist #lgbtq #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #healingcentred #chronicallyill #chronicillness #personcentred #antioppressive
#neurodivergence #neurodivergent

Vulnerability is hard, and what feels vulnerable to each person is unique to them.

Regardless of what feels vulnerable for you, this is what goes into the process of being vulnerable 💜🩷🧡

#therapy #therapistthoughts #nonmonogamy #trauma #lgbtqia #queer #psychotherapy #irish #ireland #relationships #scotland #scottish #glasgow #england #uk #wales #northernireland #enm #queertherapist #lgbtq #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #healingcentred #chronicallyill #chronicillness #personcentred #antioppressive
#neurodivergence #neurodivergent

‘Self-actualised’ is not a thing.

‘Self-actualised’ is a pop psychology term that creates this false idea that there’s some magical, higher state that we must all achieve in order to be deemed ‘good’, ‘worthy’ or ‘growing’.

But self-actualisation is a neutral process of us finding, evolving and becoming ourselves. There’s no such thing as ‘being self-actualised’.

Self-actualisation is messy, non-linear, and influenced by our environment, relationships and interactions.

It’s process that’s always happening - whether we’re aware of it or not, and whether we’re working on ourselves or not.

*We can intentionally engage in the process of self-actualisation by exploring who we are and what we want or need from life. However, even if we don’t, we’re still self-actualising.

✨ So if you’ve ever worried about not being ‘self-actualised’ enough, this is a gentle note to remember ✨

#therapy #therapistthoughts #nonmonogamy #trauma #lgbtqia #queer #psychotherapy #irish #ireland #relationships #scotland #scottish #glasgow #england #uk #wales #northernireland #enm #queertherapist #lgbtq #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #healingcentred #chronicallyill #chronicillness #personcentred #antioppressive
#neurodivergence #neurodivergent

The point is, there’s no one way you’re supposed to feel during the holidays. Whatever uniquely comes up for you, it’s valid.

Doing things that make you feel good during the darker, shorter days doesn’t need to be what’s expected of you. Rituals don’t need to be prescribed.

Find ways or moments to shape what works for you, your resources (time/money/physical energy) and your people 💜🩷🧡

#christmas #therapistthoughts #queer #neurodivergent #disabled #chronicallyill #mentalhealth #grief #scotland #ireland #uk #england #wales #holidayseason #chosenfamily

Let’s be real, festive companion animal content is where it’s at. Stay tuned for the cutest Christmas jumper on the most gorgeous girl 🐶

When I worked in HIV research, it was consistently shocking just how few people know about U=U. What’s more, is how few healthcare professionals know about it, and how much stigma folx living with HIV face as a result. So here’s a little FYI for #worldaidsday 🎗️

#hiv #sexualhealth

Neuroqueer is a label of social identity and way of being. We can be neuroqueer, and we can practise neuroqueering.

This mini super summary explainer is inspired by Dr Nick Walker’s work in Neuroqueer Heresies 🏳️‍🌈 🏳️‍⚧️

#therapy #therapistthoughts #nonmonogamy #multigamy #lgbtqia #queer #psychotherapy #irish #ireland #relationships #scotland #scottish #glasgow #england #uk #wales #northernireland #cnm #enm #queertherapist #lgbtq #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #nonbinary #enby #igersglasgow #neuroqueer

Structural trauma is a real and valid form of trauma. That’s all.

#therapy #therapistthoughts #nonmonogamy #trauma #lgbtqia #queer #psychotherapy #irish #ireland #relationships #scotland #scottish #glasgow #england #uk #wales #northernireland #enm #queertherapist #lgbtq #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #healingcentred #chronicallyill #chronicillness #personcentred #antioppressive
#neurodivergence #neurodivergent

A little theory drop on this Wednesday afternoon 💜🩷🧡

The moment I found the Power Threat Meaning Framework, I felt so connected to it. It’s not about working with a view to you being ‘fixed’.

Instead, we work together to find your personal power and create a path forward - with the knowledge that you’re not inherently ‘wrong’ somehow. What’s happened to you or what you’re surviving is unfair.

It’s anti-oppressive and places accountability where it truly lies.

#therapy #therapistthoughts #nonmonogamy #trauma #lgbtqia #queer #psychotherapy #irish #ireland #relationships #scotland #scottish #glasgow #england #uk #wales #northernireland #enm #queertherapist #lgbtq #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #healingcentred #chronicallyill #chronicillness #personcentred #antioppressive
#neurodivergence #neurodivergent

If the way we exist doesn’t fit society’s idea of ‘normal’, we’re often labelled as ‘disordered’ or seen as the ‘problem’.

But what is considered ‘normal’ isn’t universal; it’s shaped by the social, cultural, political, and economic systems around us. Right now, this idea of normal is heavily tied to what makes us ‘productive’.

When our humanity is overlooked, and we’re treated as resources, our value becomes linked to how ‘useful’ or ‘productive’ we are.

As a result, our differences are often pathologised, meaning they’re seen as disorders that need to be ‘fixed’.

This is a deeply ableist oppression, as it fails to recognise that human diversity—including neurodiversity—is natural and inherently valuable.

It also shifts the blame onto us as individuals rather than addressing the real issue: oppressive and exploitative systems that refuse to accommodate the natural diversity of human experiences, traits and differences.

So while each and every person finds their own meaning in labels, at the same time, we as therapists must be aware of who defines ‘normal’ and what the purpose/harms of that definition is.

#therapy #therapistthoughts #nonmonogamy #trauma #lgbtqia #queer #psychotherapy #irish #ireland #relationships #scotland #scottish #glasgow #england #uk #wales #northernireland #enm #queertherapist #lgbtq #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #healingcentred #chronicallyill #chronicillness #personcentred #antioppressive
#neurodivergence #neurodivergent

Just a Friday note from me to you ✨

#therapy #therapistthoughts #nonmonogamy #trauma #lgbtqia #queer #psychotherapy #irish #ireland #relationships #scotland #scottish #glasgow #england #uk #wales #northernireland #enm #queertherapist #lgbtq #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #healingcentred #neurodivergence #autism #adhd #hsp #dyslexia #dyspraxia #neuroqueer

I hear this over and over again. Therapists who have little to no basic competency in working with queer folx, consequently taking up the therapeutic space by requiring TED talks to get to an exploratory starting point.

The subtext of practising without this basic competency and attunement is a lack of recognising just how profoundly these areas of being influence our experience of life. It’s not as simple as saying you’re ‘open to working with LGBT+ individuals’*, in the same way as being a white therapist, my commitment to anti-racist practice goes being ‘open to working with BPOC individuals’*.

Competency and attunement is more than a general openness. It’s an active practice.

It’s an acknowledgment of the limitation of our own frames of references and identities, and an ongoing commitment to reflecting, listening, learning and adapting.

*on a semantic side note, I avoid using the word ‘individuals’ in all contexts. It’s cold, impersonal, and comes with a subtext of relational separateness.

#therapy #therapistthoughts #nonmonogamy #multigamy #lgbtqia #queer #psychotherapy #irish #ireland #relationships #scotland #scottish #glasgow #england #uk #wales #northernireland #cnm #enm #queertherapist #lgbtq #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #nonbinary #enby #igersglasgow #neuroqueer

There are 100 excerpts I could share from this book, but this one feels right for today.

Unshame is a beautiful piece of writing, showing a path of excavating shame through therapy. @carolynspringwriter shares her own personal experiences of sessions, grounded in all the shapes shame can be felt in.

It’s as accessible as it is a moving read 💜🩷🧡

#bookrecommendations #therapy #therapistthoughts #nonmonogamy #trauma #lgbtqia #queer #psychotherapy #irish #ireland #relationships #scotland #scottish #glasgow #england #uk #northernireland #enm #queertherapist #lgbtq #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #healingcentred #chronicallyill #chronicillness #personcentred #antioppressive
#neurodivergence #neurodivergent

You 👏 are 👏 not 👏 too 👏 much 👏

Carrying a feeling of ‘too much’ is carrying a sense of shame. It’s a heavy weight, and a blurry lens through which to experience yourself, others and life.

Often, that feeling of ‘too much’ is amplified when we have marginalised or minoritised identities, because when we feel isolated or othered, to express our emotions and needs feels deeply vulnerable.

It’s a lot, but it’s not on you, and it’s a feeling that can be unravelled.

💜🩷🧡

#therapy #therapistthoughts #nonmonogamy #trauma #lgbtqia #queer #psychotherapy #irish #ireland #relationships #scotland #scottish #glasgow #england #uk #wales #northernireland #enm #queertherapist #lgbtq #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #healingcentred #chronicallyill #chronicillness #personcentred #antioppressive
#neurodivergence #neurodivergent

I can’t even imagine practising therapy (or doing my own therapy!) without an awareness of our nervous systems.

To understand the very real physiological aspects of how we respond to ourselves and the world around us can often be grounding.

It can help make sense of feelings that seem to come out of nowhere.

And it can be overwhelming too - to really understand how involved our bodies are in assessing our experience.

So we learn gently, begin to notice the messages our bodies send us, all while coming up with our own personal gorgeously unique metaphors to recognise our nervous system activation.

It’s a process (classic therapy, eh?), but a worthwhile one 💜🩷🧡

#therapy #therapistthoughts #nonmonogamy #trauma #lgbtqia #queer #psychotherapy #irish #ireland #relationships #scotland #scottish #glasgow #england #uk #wales #northernireland #enm #queertherapist #lgbtq #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #healingcentred #chronicallyill #chronicillness #personcentred #antioppressive
#neurodivergence #neurodivergent

Ever heard of the biopsychosocial model of problem substance use* (addiction)?

We were talking about it back in 2012 as the way forward working with problem substance use, yet the myth of the ‘addictive personality’ continues to be as common among folx as services. Worryingly, I’m now seeing it throughout the neurodivergent space as a new lens folx are being oppressively shamed by.

There’s a lot of harm that comes with this myth, but if we zone in on the therapy space, one of the harms I see most often is this sense of internalising the use of substances as an inherent personal, individual failing. This idea prevents a more in depth exploration of what our relationships with substances are, where they fit or don’t fit in our lives, whether we experience harm or not with them.

And that all has a function; it sustains oppressive systems when we take the burden of the blame and internalise it. When we feel shame, we stay quiet.

Yet when we look at statistics like drug-related deaths, they’re unequivocally linked to arms of oppression like poverty, social exclusion, individual/collective/intergenerational trauma.

So next time you think ‘I just have an addictive personality’, maybe there’s a space to both explore a little deeper *and* offer yourself a sense of compassion that this is not simply a ‘personal failing’ of yours, it’s more complicated than that.

*I say problem substance use because substance use is not inherently problematic. Recreational use exists and is valid.

#therapy #therapistthoughts #nonmonogamy #trauma #lgbtqia #queer #psychotherapy #irish #ireland #relationships #scotland #scottish #glasgow #england #uk #wales #northernireland #enm #queertherapist #lgbtq #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #healingcentred #chronicallyill #chronicillness #personcentred #antioppressive
#neurodivergence #neurodivergent

I’ve been thinking a lot about anger lately. Maybe it’s the change of seasons, or what’s going on in the world around us 🇵🇸 🏳️‍⚧️.

For a lot of folx, anger is something we can feel for others or for the world, not something we get to feel for ourselves.

Yet anger tells us so much about ourselves. What we need, what hurts, what we want to change.

Connecting to anger is a core aspect of processing trauma too, it’s a natural human expression that allows us to profoundly validate ourselves.

I’m sure I’ll say more on anger, but these are my meandering thoughts this morning 🤘

#therapy #therapistthoughts #nonmonogamy #trauma #lgbtqia #queer #psychotherapy #irish #ireland #relationships #scotland #scottish #glasgow #england #uk #wales #northernireland #enm #queertherapist #lgbtq #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #healingcentred #chronicallyill #chronicillness #personcentred #antioppressive
#neurodivergence #neurodivergent

BRB, going to hang out kicking some Scottish autumn leaves around for a bit 💜🩷🧡

Follow them ⬇️ 🏳️‍�🌈 🏳️‍⚧️
@transsafetynetwork
@resistingtransphobiaedi
@glasgow_trans_rally
@scottish_trans

#therapy #therapistthoughts #nonmonogamy #multigamy #lgbtqia #queer #psychotherapy #irish #ireland #relationships #scotland #scottish #glasgow #england #uk #wales #northernireland #cnm #enm #queertherapist #lgbtq #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #nonbinary #enby #igersglasgow #neuroqueer

Mononormativity is the societal assumptions that monogamy is the standard or ideal way to have relationships.

It constructs the idea of monogamy as ‘natural’, ‘normal’, and ‘superior’ to other relational identities.

This marginalises folx who experience themselves and their relational identities in other ways. It also invalidates the way acespec folx experience connection and relationships. This ultimately leaves nothing but judgement and stigmatisation ❤️‍🩹

By deconstructing the relationship escalator, we can value that intimacy comes in all shapes and sizes. Relationships are as unique as the people in them 💜🩷🧡

#therapy #therapistthoughts #nonmonogamy #multigamy #polyamory #relationshipanarchy #psychotherapy #irish #ireland #relationships #scotland #scottish #glasgow #england #uk #wales #northernireland #cnm #enm #mentalhealth #queer #queerrelationships #queertherapist #openrelationships #swinging #poly

Rather than judging the most human of experiences, ‘attention-seeking’, as ‘unhealthy’, let’s be a little less judgy and acknowledge it as a way of expressing unmet needs.

That’s why we create a non-judgemental relationship in therapy, so you can explore these needs, deepen your self-awareness, and learn to meet them with a greater sense of trust in yourself 💜🩷🧡

#therapy #therapistthoughts #nonmonogamy #trauma #lgbtqia #queer #psychotherapy #irish #ireland #relationships #scotland #scottish #glasgow #england #uk #wales #northernireland #enm #queertherapist #lgbtq #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #healingcentred #chronicallyill #chronicillness #personcentred #antioppressive
#neurodivergence #neurodivergent

1. Individualising stress and distress as your fault.

2. Pathologising natural ways of being (like neurodivergence or queerness).

3. Judging you for not ‘getting better’ within a set timeframe.

4. Criticising you for not ‘complying’ with therapy methods.

5. Pressuring you to recount traumatic experiences in detail.

6. Acting as if the therapist is the expert on your experience.

7. Not asking for your consent to incorporate body-focused work.

8. Imposing limits on what you ‘should’ or ‘shouldn’t’ talk about.

9. Pushing you to explore painful memories too quickly.

There’s a lot to say on how these nine forms of harm can look, so I’ve written about it all more detail in my blog. Check out the link in my bio for a deeper explanation 💜🩷🧡

#therapy #therapistthoughts #nonmonogamy #trauma #lgbtqia #queer #psychotherapy #irish #ireland #relationships #scotland #scottish #glasgow #england #uk #blog #northernireland #enm #queertherapist #lgbtq #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #healingcentred #chronicallyill #chronicillness #personcentred #antioppressive
#neurodivergence #neurodivergent

If your experience of learning, thinking, feeling or being diverges from dominant neurotypical societal norms and expectations, your experience is within the neurodivergent umbrella ☂️

#therapy #therapistthoughts #nonmonogamy #trauma #lgbtqia #queer #psychotherapy #irish #ireland #relationships #scotland #scottish #glasgow #england #uk #wales #northernireland #enm #queertherapist #lgbtq #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #healingcentred #neurodivergence #autism #adhd #hsp #dyslexia #dyspraxia #neuroqueer

I’ve finally gotten around to writing my first blog (link in bio) ✨ Thanks to the as ever ponder-inspiring @blindboyboatclub, I was compelled (yes, compelled) to write this after listening to his most recent episode with David McWilliams this morning.

This blog is a person-centred deconstruction of why the Irish Leaving Cert can be a very real experience of trauma for us neurodivergent folx.

So if you’re still having nightmares and unpicking feelings years after the Leaving Cert? That’s valid AF.

#therapy #therapistthoughts #nonmonogamy #trauma #lgbtqia #queer #psychotherapy #irish #ireland #relationships #enm #queertherapist #lgbtq #mentalhealth #mentalhealthawareness #healingcentred #neurodivergence #autism #adhd #hsp #dyslexia #dyspraxia #neuroqueer

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